How to have a successful hair cutting experience

I thought I would share some important information about Hair cutting not only for a child with ASD or SPD but for all children.
I have been in the hairdressing industry for over 10 years, so i have seen the good, the bad and the ugly of hair cutting time with children, regardless if they are neurotypical or not.

Now as a parent there is nothing more mortifying than hearing your child scream a salon down with a salon full of clients while watching your child have the hardest time coping with the process.
For most parents, they put it off and let it grow for 6 months at a time or they take matters into their own hands and do it themselves. I have seen parents in my salon get angry at their child for ‘causing a scene’ and also at the stylist for not wanting to continue the haircut out fear of further traumatizing the child.

So I want you to picture what the process feels like for your child, try to look at this from their perspective.
Your child is screaming and yelling, hyperventilating, snot flying over the place and trying to run away. You try to calm them, you try to bribe them and in the end you either persever with it and cause further distress to your child or you give up.

So why does your child have a meltdown during a haircut?
More than likely your child is a sensory avoider and the following is impacting them.
.lights are too bright
.vibration from Clippers is over powering
.the comb is scratching their skin
.too many people
.music too loud
. They don’t like touch
. The sound of the scissors hurts their ears.
.the smell of the chemicals that are used in the salon. Just to name a few, however there are so many other reasons for a meltdown to occur.

Here is a scenario that i see far too often as a Senior Stylist myself. Parents bring their child to the salon for a hair cut and already the emotions are starting to run high for their child, yet the parents don’t notice.

So picture this, Your child is greeted by a stranger in an unfamiliar place that has bright lights, loud music, lots of smells, etc. Your child is forced to sit down for a hair cut, either on your lap or on a chair and is made to wear a cape that can feel quite uncomfortable around their necks, they can not see their arms or legs and some times you may feel that you need to restrain their hands to stop fingers getting in the way of sharp tools.

A stranger starts to comb their hair, this instantly upsets youri child because of the uncertainty surrounding the situation, they dont know what to expect, they do not feel safe.

As soon as the Clippers are turned on and moved to your child to start the process of a hair cut, your child starts to panic and have a meltdown and is uncontrollably crying and screaming the whole time. You might try to talk to your child but it doesn’t work. Infact talking only makes it worse. Then your child is forced to sit there for as long as it takes to get a “perfect haircut” which is always unachievable to accomplish on a child who is having a meltdown.

This causes your child to be traumatised around hair cuts and makes having a haircut in the future nearly impossible.

You may have noticed that i said MELTDOWN AND NOT TANTRUM quite a few times, Why?
Well you see, a meltdown is ‘an intense response to overwhelming situations’ and it happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control. A meltdown can not be quickly changed by giving in to the situation and can last anywhere from 20 mins to hours (for us days)
A meltdown can not be helped but in can be avoided.

So here are my tips on a successful haircut experience for Boy’s and Girls.

Tips:
. Pick a salon that is not bright and fast paced (a little boutique salon is perfect). Go into the salon by yourself, meet the staff and asked if you may take some photos to make a VISUAL STORY (explain the situation about your child and that a visual story will be beneficial for your child to have a successful haircut).
Make sure to take photos of the staff too *please get permission*

. Print out the photos and make a book add a little story about the process And read it often, daily if you can when it is a lead up to the event and watch some YouTube videos on children having hair cuts

.take your child to the hairdressers, just walk past and chat about it, stop out the front and show them people having a hair cut. Do this as often as you can In the lead up to a hair cut.
.closer to the date, take your child in to meet their hairdresser, ask to see and feel the Clippers (if using them) show your child around (if they are in a happy place that day, always aim to take them when they are having a good day)

.For girls, let them brush their own hair morning and night, use a detangle spray to help with knots.

. For boys, let them feel the Clippers while they are off and then on.

. Do some role play with your child aroumd haircuts and make it into a fun game.

Take the IPAD, have a drink bottle with a straw to help with deep breathing (drinking from a straw helps to regulate them)

.bring any thing that you feel will comfort them.
For me, I sing to my children and do deep pressure massage on their arms and legs during a hair cut.

.set a timer

. Don’t be pedantic over the hair cut, it won’t be perfect to start with, some times quick hair cuts are best to build up trust with the hair dresser.

.Don’t wait long periods of time between cuts, try and go every 8-10 weeks and in between just casually walk past the salon and read the visual story.

I can not promise that you will have a successful haircut the first time, but if you do follow these tips, each time your child visits the salon it will get easier, it takes time and patience.

Hang in there 🙂
Elle